My NEW Boyfriend, Gym

It’s no secret how I feel about gyms.  I love them.  I really do.  After an extended time with my previous gym, I made the difficult decision to move on with my training life.  I’ve got a new gym to call my own and truth be told what got me in the end was three things in this order:
1. The big, sexy climbing wall
2. The Eucalyptus steam room
3. The two lap pools 

There are so many other things but at the end of the day, I sold out to the trendy hipster gym that’s filled with hot women with boob jobs and sports bras, a bazillion kids, and dudes with big hulky muscles that are admittedly far more entertaining to watch than the senior citizens and high school football players who frequented my past gym.

Don’t get me wrong, as I passed the guy in the walker during my morning runs and he’d yell out playfully, “I’m going to catch you one of these days!” I’d giggle.  When the high school boys would do push up contests (and beat me) every Tuesday and Thursday night I’d crack up.  When the one black guy called out to me while I ran around the track, “Hey Barbie, are you into black men?” I felt special… But it just felt like the right time.  There was paperwork to fill out.  People to tell, and machines to say goodbye to…but I made the switch…

My new gym and I are growing into one another quite nicely.  It’s still pretty fancy for me… they have all the shampoo, lotion, Q-tips, mouthwash, probably even someone to pedal for me on the bike if I really needed it.  All the food is organic but still kid friendly, I freaking love it… but I’m definitely in new territory and the newness and adjustment period is in full effect.  Tonight has a few notable examples.

At my old gym, I would frequently use the stair climber with my backpack stuffed with weight and no one paid any mind.  Sure, I got looks but no one was really worried about it.  Tonight, it was quite interesting to most people so much so that a few actually came and asked me about it while I was sweating my life away all over the machine.  Not a good plan to interrupt a crazy woman in the midst of 40 minutes on the stair climber with 35 lbs. on her back.  So when “Smack My Bitch Up” by The Prodigy came on my iPod at one point and I thought maybe it was a sign… but I kept my hands to myself and grunted one or two word responses. 

After the climbing brutalization, I picked up my daughter from the fancy schmancy kids area and headed over to the climbing wall with her.  She proceeded to get her climbing harness pulled up while I pulled my hair back in a braid a la Lara Croft.  Standing no more than ten feet from me I heard the instructor ask her, “Where’s your mom?”  For a hot second I thought that perhaps I just looked so young he couldn’t possibly think I was her mother.  But, no.  He glanced up and said, “Oh, that’s her, right?  Ma’am, do you two need any help?”  Ugh. Really?  Did someone tell him I had just turned 30 and may or may not be mildly hypersensitive about that?

“No.”  I said politely while tightening Taylor’s manual double back buckles on her waistebelt.  He grinned broadly and walked away to help the next group of people unaware he’d just stabbed me directly in my heart.  Tay ran off to an automatic belay line and I eyed a few of the wall faces dejectedly.  One of the guys who works the wall asked if I needed a belay.  I graciously accepted (It did NOT hurt that he happened to be quite cute) and getting covered in chalk sounded like a lot of fun for a Wednesday night. 

I climbed that big, hot, sexy wall for an hour.  Reaching, stretching, with a big hunky guy holding me up.  Not too shabby.  The climb left my forearms swollen so sushi tonight was eaten, sadly, with a fork.  I couldn’t effectively use the chopsticks I had the shakes so bad.  A forgivable and welcome outcome.

Yes, I think me and my new Gym will be okay.  It’s early but I could fall in love with this one… I always do.  I’ll miss old Gym, but I’m pretty sure I made the right decision.  New is good.  Sexy is good.  Eating sushi at the end of the night with a fork is actually pretty good too.


  1. I just did the opposite. I traded in the latte lunges for the sweaty cave and it's primal boulders. I spend most of my workouts in the dirt lately, so I haven't had time to miss all the bells-and-whistles, but when I do go to the gym, I enjoy the newly found quiet. None-the-less this post was a fun read, and it looks like this gym suits you and your family's needs. Happy belated birthday, and congrats on the upgrade.

  2. Dan - Thanks for the birthday wishes! I should have mentioned that I do go old school in my garage for some workouts too. Sandbag, big tire, sledge hammer, free weights and power tower. Something very honest about that kind of workout... That wall just seduced me. I'm weak...


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