Sunday, September 30, 2012

Tough Stuff

“Breathing deeply, she forgot the cold, the dead weight of others, the craziness or stuffiness of life, the long anguish of living and dying. After so many years of mad, aimless fleeing from fear, she had come to a stop at last.” – Albert Camus

My abs and hip flexors are killing me. Abs might not even be the right word.  Everything between my neck and hip sockets is killing me and my hip flexors are so tight, I'm hunched over when I'm standing still.  I was walking across my kitchen and physically wincing with each step, aware of every muscle being used to move my body across the room.  

And it's temporary, I know that.  I actually like it.  And I'll take aminos and I'll drink bone broth (thanks Addi for that one).  And  with my foam roller, I'll painfully tend to my muscles, I enjoy that ritual actually.  (I may have some wine first...) but I'll spend the time to work it out, however much it will hurt me to do so. And I'll feel better as it's happening, even when it hurts.  It will release slowly, but when I'm done there will be progress, benefit, and release.  

October sucks.  I have a lot of heavy, hard memories wrapped up in that month.  And that's okay.  I don't have a foam roller for it, and I guess that's why emotional scars are so deep and so chronic.  They're my scars though, I'm better for them.  I wouldn't trade the lessons, I can't change the circumstances...

Life goes on.